Let us start off with an understanding that everybody likes to tell about themselves and accumulate praise in return. We all have done it and once in a while, it feels good to get some external validation no matter how much you and I pretend about not giving a damn. But there are some folks around us who brag and boast to such an extent that they appear faker than Ree-das shoes you must have seen on Delhi’s streets. Today we’ll dive deep into the conversations of such cocky men. No pun there.
Whenever I am in a circle of guys, there is always an insecure prick there who’ll bring up the topic of the penis in between. I don’t even remember how many times I have had this kind of discussion. He will begin by asking other people’s size and no matter how big your thing is, his thing is bigger than an inch. What I fail to grasp is that being an Indian, there is a certain upper limit to the length of your desi katta. You can’t consume a pill for extra size. But some guys can’t put this thing in their head.
On top of that, they give elaborate explanations as to why they’re so big in comparison to the rest of us. I eat peanut butter, massage with mustard oil and ask for a blessing on every Tuesday and blah blah blah. The more this average guy talks about his longer than average penis, the more we are assured that his stuff is not much stuffy to brag in the first place. A rich man never has to tell you that he is a rich man. This saying concludes my case but he always defends his case and the discussion ends when I leave. Next time you’re with someone whose meat is meatier than yours, tell him this saying. See what happens.
A very common thing for men to feel proud about is the number of minutes their little member spends in a woman’s vagina. I have no idea why they feel like telling the duration of their thrusting time when finger fuck can do all the magic and save all the effort. I bet these high stamina dudes have never been near the clitoris to know that not all women orgasm from the in and out motion of a penis. Once a guy told me that he went on for one hour of sex which in his terms meant that he pounced on the lady like a tiger for one full hour of intercourse. It is not possible because the body gets sore, I told him.
But his pride rested in the head of his junior so he got offended. If you were a girl and I had put it in you, you would have known. That is what he told me and both of us went silent. Strange things some guys will say make decent ones awkward. Anyways. It is not about the time you stay inside her delivering more pumps than a hydraulic motor can deliver, it actually is about making her cum. If all that you have to offer are high-speed thrusts, there’s the vibrator for that. Add value to her life and stop miscalculating your timing. Also, find and play with her clit. Sex doesn’t mean exercising, for that there is a gym.
Bro, you don’t have any clue how many women have touched me down there.
That’s the kind of thing some guys will say and then proceed to ask what’s your score. The problem here is not they’re having sex with many women. The problem is that they think it is a marvellous feat of achievement. A message for such dudes. Sex is not a trophy and no matter how many girls you sleep with, there will be someone whose score is higher than yours. You don’t have to be Hugh Hefner or Dan Bilzerian to prove your bro-ness.
Guys who have been with a lesser number of girls but have left them with an orgasm, their experience is much more worth sharing than a drunk night of sex with a Tinder date. But who am I comment? Go on and keep on increasing your score but remember that the hole in your self-esteem lacking soul will not be filled with another hole. Take your time to reflect on your choices and be more cautious because with higher score comes a higher risk of herpes and other infections which will render your score useless. All the best for your next meeting.
Broadly speaking, men brag and boast about these three things. Some are at advanced levels of narcissism. For example, a dark and muscled guy told me that his creature is not a cock but an anaconda. Then he went on to tell me that when he ejaculates, he fills one whole bowl with semen. I know it is yuck. Who shoots their nut in a bowl? He does. But no worries. Take care and avoid the company of men who equate their value as a person with the length and lasting capacity of their pipe and also with the number of dug-ups that pipe has been into. I wish these guys luck and I hope they unintentionally don’t impregnate a woman. The last thing I wish to witness in a circle of guys is one of them standing up and asking who has been to more abortion clinics than him. God bless men and false notions of manhood.