I was a misfit.
I discovered love in getting wounded by a society that expected me to live a life that wasn’t meant for me.
I found comfort in the beautiful souls who saw through my mask.
I love unconditionally, detached from its outcomes.
I found lust without expectations.
Yet, on some days I fall on the ground and cry to the universe.
I am strong and I am weak. I surrender all my emotions.
I am still the misfit.
If life’s beauty had to be defined by a single moment, which moment comes to your mind? We exist in this world along with others who have different energies, drives and experiences. To coexist is a beautiful thing. Yet we choose to live, love and laugh with those who radiate the same energy as us. Is it narcissism or is it just the comfort of familiarity they provide?
Intimacy is overwhelming. Many of us mistake it with undressing before someone, while keeping our souls hidden the whole time. Baring the soul feels like a loss of power. So we hide away. We sweep ourselves beneath thick carpets, dusty and overlooked; but still long to be seen. We fear ridicule. However hard we try, our traumas persist like an old shadow, obscuring the light. Real intimacy is letting someone see beyond our body, into a world of understanding and compassion. There is something eternal about understanding, which makes one’s toes curl faster, and moans sound deeper.
Most desires start and end at the base/ root chakra. However, what happens when desires start from the root chakra and travel upwards into its final destination, the crown chakra? When your sexuality moves upwards it not only leads to the release of blockages, but it becomes a way to get closer to everything around you, what some would call ‘the divine.’ Think of making love as a prayer, that brings out devotion, in the most erotic way!
But keep in mind-‘every ‘body’ is not meant to have sex with ‘everybody’ when we are talking about sacred intimacy.
We often think of ourselves as replaceable, as discardable. In a world full of of replaceable fixations, exploring the irreplaceable is not for everybody. So how do we discover what remains? We can start by surrendering ourselves to those innermost fears and feelings, without any specific outcome in mind. Searching for an outcome defeats the purpose. Most of the time, these outcomes only exist in our mind, to justify our lack of courage. Some connections are hard to let go of.
As the years pass, change occurs, even in the face of our best efforts. Sometimes we wake up, and can no longer the person we’ve become. But somewhere deep inside, traces of our old selves flicker and move, waiting to come alive. Some days I envy those who can live life without loving, crying and feeling intensely. The one who has it all sorted out, with neat plans and predictable outcomes.
Some of us dance through life like it is the last day. And in this chaos, somehow we balance the yin and yang of our messy existence. Our brains can be chaotic and creative forever. We run free to protest, we want to spread our love to every corner of the world. We are the anomalies who live to sway our hips, who can see color in the darkest of times. Taming us is like trying to domesticate a wild animal. Because the harder someone tries to tame our spirits, the faster we run searching for the truth in ourselves. Deep inside we have surrendered but our bodies are confused and refuse to slow down. When we love, it is like an oasis in a desert full of hate. All the heat of the desert can’t stop our flowers from flourishing.
If you’re reading this my fellow anomaly, I want to tell you you’re stronger than you think you are. Through your unconditional love and your ability to heal, the world is already becoming a better place. Your grounded roots are humble, yet strong enough to change the world through your perspectives. By refusing to conform, you are the wildflowers that stand out in a neat garden. The children that your passionate lovemaking can create will be a gift to the universe. They will be born with kind eyes and a tender soul.
Dear anomaly, you are the Shiva-Shakti of this universe.