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Sex and hygiene

Sexual Hygiene

Apart from the fact that most Indians are among the worst people in bed (both men and women) who just do not know how to have sex (not least because they know nothing about sex except what they learn in substandard porn, which is most porn), there is the additional problem of most Indians being the dirtiest people in terms of sexual hygiene.

As a gay man who meets men across class and caste for casual sex, I have been simply appalled at how unclean men are and have had, as usual, to take things in my own hands (pun intended) and hand-hold men (is there any other way with Indian men?) into some sense of hygiene before I sleep with them.

Men keep their crotch area really filthy. This ranges from undies reeking of urine, rashes around the crotch and all over the arse (from a whitish scabby tissue to black discoloration caused by sweat and lack of cleaning) to the dreaded smegma, pubic lice and other gross STIs and STDS, including genital herpes. They want to be rimmed but have shit stuck to their rectums. They want to be sucked but will not even do the common courtesy of washing their willies before getting into bed.

I have had to send men home because the reek was making me gag. Over the years, I had to develop a smegma kit, a small pouch containing cotton, water, Dettol, a toothbrush to clean the goat cheese-like substance (which smells way more foul) that accumulates under unclean penis heads called smegma.

Today’s metrosexual mutts think that just shaving off their pubic hair (including armpits, chest hair and who knows what other hair so that, like women, they can become plucked chickens) is the solution. This hardly solves the problem if you are fundamentally unclean.

There is a multi-million dollar industry for vaginal deodorants for women so why is there none for men? (though I just saw an ad for a spray for men’s intimate parts). However, deodorants are not the solution and only a capitalist ploy to make you feel ashamed of your body and buy more products to smell good. There is nothing good old water cannot get rid of.

To be sure, sweat, a bodily scent, body hair are all turn ons and amazing but these are organic and do not preclude washing oneself (unless your lover explicitly asks you not to because s/he is a skank who loves stinks. But, for most of us, a clean body is a pre-requisite for good sex, even as we may love the scent of our partner’s body, her/his sweat, his/her hair.

A man recently told me that he could not go down on women because they are so dirty. He said he loves going down on women and was dying to go down on his girlfriend once when she just emerged from the bath but then he saw white discharge down there and was completely put off. “She was having a bath. Couldn’t she just wash down there?” he asked. Good question. The legions of men who get UTIs from their filthy girlfriends and wives will testify to the ill-effects of women not knowing how to keep themselves clean.

Women, of course, are taught to believe that they are dirty down there (and that they menstruate blue blood). So are men. Which is why there’s hardly any oral sex or rimming among Indian sexual partners. Forget down there, Indian men and women don’t like kissing as they find it unhygienic.

What they apparently do not find unhygienic is their own stinking mouths, given their complete lack of oral hygiene. Bad breath is such a complete turn off while having sex. It is an absolute fucking dealbreaker. Who would want to kiss such a mouth anyway? It triggers gag reflexes again.

The effects of poor bodily/sexual knowledge because of the lack of sexual education does not just stop at not knowing how to have sex but also leads to so many STIs and STDS that people do not even know they have. They know nothing about their bodies and therefore nothing about sexual hygiene.

It is high time you educate yourself about your body and your sexual organs and your sex life will improve.

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