Role-play! Maybe it makes you think of Fifty Shades of Grey, or a scene from a porno that you saw. But roleplay isn’t just for the screen! It can totally spice things up in a realistic way in your bedroom. So what if you’re into the idea of roleplaying with your partner and don’t know where to start? Well, that’s normal and that’s why we’ve put together this guide for you!
The first step is always consent. So talk to your partner about your role-play fantasies. If you find it awkward to bring it up, you could find a natural moment: like bringing it up while sexting, or while cuddling after sex. Let them know that you really want to try out role-play and check if they are on the same page. Maybe they want to take things slow or are only interested in some parts of the role-play. And that’s totally cool! Keep things healthy and consensual. Don’t rush into it & make sure that it is fun and exciting for both of you!
Now that you’ve told your partner you want to try role-play, brainstorm all the possible role-play ideas! If you’re new to role-play, start simple and stick to something you are familiar with. We’ve added a fun list of possibilities below! While going through the list, visualise each role-play with you and your partner in it, and see if it excites you!
-Boss & employee
-Professor & student
-Doctor & nurse
-Real estate agent & buyer
-Shop owner & customer
-Yoga/ fitness instructor and client
-Model & photographer
-Masseuse & client
-Delivery person & customer
You can also think of everyday situations that arouse you, like maybe you find people in uniform totally hot. If the above scenarios seem too complex, you could just be yourselves and pretend to be total strangers! Or maybe you could just experiment with some light power-play. Once you’ve identified the role-play scenario that gets you going the best, you can think of ways to adapt it to your bedroom!
Set the Stage!
Now that you’ve agreed on trying out some role-play, it’s time to plan! How do you want to go about the role-play? Do you want lots of dirty talk, and a complex backstory? Do you even want props and costumes? As a side note: it’s better to invest in props after you’ve tried role-play a few times. Because if you try role-play and don’t like it, the props will just go to waste! In any case, props are just one way to add detail to your role-play, so think of all the other details you want. You could have a detailed scenario that you want to play out beforehand. Or maybe you just want to say ‘hey professor’ to your partner in a sexy voice and then start making out. Either way, it’s up to you! The planning is just to make sure that things will be comfortable and enjoyable for you and your partner.
The planning stage is also a good time to set your limits. Role-play is a type of power play, so you need to discuss your hard no’s with your partner. Maybe you don’t like pain, or demeaning words… or anything else that could be associated with some role-plays. So while discussing what you are absolutely into, also talk about what both of you don’t want!
Get into the role!
Here’s the part you’ve been waiting for! A lot of the fun in role-playing lies in the anticipation. You can draw things out for a while and just tease each other. Get into your role, and flirt shamelessly with your partner-turned-doctor, or be a little coy with this new sexy stranger you’ve just met. You can let hands linger, make eye-contact and be suggestive or subtle.
If you feel a little nervous or awkward, don’t worry! That’s normal. And remember: you’re just playing, it’s supposed to feel good! You don’t have to be the most convincing actor, role-play is only for fun. And if something awkward does happen, it’s better to acknowledge it, laugh it off, and move on. But if it genuinely gets too nerve-wracking, it may be a sign to stop. But most people will find that once they get into their roles, it flows naturally, and things can get quite steamy pretty fast!
After your role-play session, talk to your partner about how you felt. Discuss the things you liked or would like to explore more. And finally: stay safe, explore your fantasies and have fun!