Open Marriages: A Myth

The very concept of an open marriage is a myth because marriage is a closed institution. Marriage is about establishing a genetic line, about property, about land, about control. It is a business transaction with women as the objects of exchange (paraya dhan). So the idea of an open marriage is just nonsense. But in […]

Sex and hygiene

Sexual Hygiene

Apart from the fact that most Indians are among the worst people in bed (both men and women) who just do not know how to have sex (not least because they know nothing about sex except what they learn in substandard porn, which is most porn), there is the additional problem of most Indians being […]

When does a consensual sexual act turn into a # Me Too moment?

Pinjra Tod is one of the few feminist collectives which continues to fight SH on the ground and the internet hordes do not stand outside colleges like they do, fighting case after case. This is part II of the article ‘Some Thoughts on metoo‘ At least five young heterosexual men I know have come to […]

Sex and Power: Some Thoughts on #Me Too


Power is part of all sex. #Me Too in its current avatar in the United States and India singles out one industry – the film industry – with some allied industries coming in – the media, including print media, for example. The words were first used in 2006 by an African-American woman, Tarana Burke, who […]

The pleasures and perils of porn

Porn Video

Feminists across the world divide themselves on the question of porn. In the US, the sex-positive feminists are pro-porn and the sex-negative feminists are anti-porn. The latter (Catherine MacKinnon, Andrea Dworkin) have been powerful and have not hesitated to sign up with the rightwing state and legislate on banning porn in the districts of the […]

Know your man’s body!

Armpit Hair is Sexy

If it is true that Indian men do not know much about Indian women’s bodies, it is equally the case that Indian women know close to nothing about men’s bodies. If most of the Indian men I have interviewed over three decades now do not know what a clitoris is or where it ought to […]

Love and other demons

Jealousy, Possession in a Couples

What is love? Several million, mostly lousy, words have been written on this subject but are we any closer to understanding this word? This article will not attempt a definition, not least because I think there is no one definition of it. There are as many definitions of it as there are people. But what […]

The Ten Commandments of Casual sex and Hookups

Dating on Smartphone

Hookup culture in India remains mired in sickness and misconception. In the heterosexual world, I know hundreds of boys who want it and cannot get it. I know hundreds of girls who want it but are too scared to even admit it, let alone go out and get it. Trying to set them up for […]

The pleasures and perils of polyamory: Some questions answered

2017 Toronto Pride Parade

Polyamory – the practice of loving more than one person poly (many) amory (love) – has been a cultural practice in many cultures across history but as a modern urban phenomenon, it has been largely a US phenomenon, coming out of the sex-positive feminist movement in that country. Sex positivism is that part of the […]