When I was told to write an article about human touch, I just couldn’t
say no. I just grab the opportunity. I have so much to say, to express.
My partner lives in a different city. Both of us love to touch and be
touched. We believe it is another form of expression, another form of
communication where so much is said without uttering a single word.
So touch is one of the basic pillars of our relationship. And we don’t
mind engaging in PDA ( public display of affection) as well. Be it in a
railway station, or inside the bus sitting together holding hands or
roaming about the city. Holding hands, hugging each other, playing
with hair, a slight touch or a brush against each other while working
are something we indulge when we meet. And yes when apart, we
miss this vital thing. The other day while talking over phone, I burst
into tears while remembering his touch and how much we miss it. It is
far more intimate than anything we have shared. Be it in comfort or in
pain, human touch has a magic and none of us can deny it.
In our conservative society, human touch, other than what is behind
closed doors has been frowned upon. We don’t indulge in normal
human touch. But all of us crave for human touch. An adult feels
comfort, even joy from it while an infant is soothed by it. A touch is
what we call a basic human interaction. A decent, affectionate touch.
A touch to comfort us, a touch to relieve us of our pain, our miseries,
our frustrations and fears. A touch to feel desired, loved, wanted and
appreciated. A soft peck on the cheek or a gentle brush of fingers over
your beloved’s hair, holding hands while taking a stroll together,
hugging and cuddling has the ability to create magic. And
physiologically, it triggers the release of oxytocin, boosting our sense
of trust and security that allows us to bond with our partners. So
undoubtedly, it is one of the biggest forms of communication. It has
healing properties. WE can communicate so many of our feelings
through touch. And this ability has distinguished us from other
animals in this animal kingdom. It is fundamental to our physical,
mental and emotion health.
Research says that sensual touching or a caring hug has the ability of
lowering down cortisol, popularly known as stress hormone,
effectively relieving stress and strengthening our immune system.
This is a “bonding” hormone as it increases our sense of
trust/security. A study conducted by University of North Carolina
discovered that women who received more hugs from their partners
had lower heart rates and blood pressure. A massage has the ability to
relax the body, ease pain and melt away tension. Scientific research
actually correlates physical touch with several things.
Scientifically it has been seen that touch has the ability to bond
individuals. It creates stronger immune system by decreasing diseases
so in another words it creates healthy ‘US’. When teachers touch
students platonically, it encourages their learning. They are also more
likely to speak-up in class. As a result, there is a boost in learning and
interaction. Inter-personal touch has a powerful impact on our
emotions. Touch can lead to strong team dynamics as we touch to
initiate and sustain cooperation.
Of many forms of physical affection, particularly sensual touches
play an important role in fostering bond among partners. One of the
reasons for my marriage go haywire is the lack of affectionate touch. I
being a sensitive and emotional individual had always craved for such
touches. It helps to strengthen the bond between partners. Sensual
touches have the ability to convey your messages to your partner
where words fall short of expression. But I never got it. Words can be
dubious, can be fake, can be uncertain but touch is not. It is definite,
real and certain. You can actually read touch, whether it is with love
and care or plainly coming from lust without any form of respect and
love for the person. One of my close friends rightly said few days
back that sexual intercourse is the culmination of all the care and love
you show it to the other person and one of the main ways of
expressing it is though touch. But I guess Indian society has to walk
several miles to understand the needs of sensual touches and overall
display of physical affection.
Here are few tips of sensual touching.
You can display your affection throughout the day. There is no harm
in showing your love. It would help in maintaining continuous
warmth and relieve your partner of the little stresses that get built up
in the body throughout the day.
2. It is important to know your partner’s yes and no zones. Some of
the erogenous zones like butts, breasts are very common but there
might be other zones as well that can be unique to your partner. So try
and explore those zones like the neck, inner thighs, ears and lips.
3. It is pre requisite to know about the sexual anatomy. It is important
to understand how your partner’s body works. And accordingly both
of you can enjoy sexual pleasure.
4. Often simple caressing or touching your partner can lead to sexual
union. But focussing only on experiencing orgasm can hamper your
ability to be present in the moment. So instead of it concentrate every
moment you spend with him/her. Focus on the journey of intimacy
together rather than the destination.
5. It is a beautiful way to kick starts the journey. It involves depriving
a person of their sensory abilities, such as sight or hearing. For
instance, you might blindfold your partner while giving them head in
order to help allay any feelings of self-consciousness. You could also
have him/her wear headphones and play calming music. These steps
can be great for helping them let go of distractions and focus on the
sensual touching as it would sooth the mind.
5. Teasing your partner is actually a great way of showing your
affection. You can build anticipation by teasing and hinting on
his/her erogenous zones especially the genitals. By the time you do
go for it, they’ll be dying to feel you there.
6. This is something which most of the male partners don’t indulge in.
But it tells a lot of things about your partner and the relationship you
are in. Hang out and cuddle with your partner or hug her tight and
sleep after you’ve decided to wrap things up rather than checking on
your social media tool or getting up to do something else. Enjoy the
glow of all the pleasure you just created.