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Intrigued, we did a survey of 160 couples who had struggles conceiving and 46% of them said their relationship was negatively affected because of the stress of infertility. Theirs is not a standlone experience.
Research suggests that infertility is often a very lonely experience, and it is made worse by the drastic shifts it causes in your existing relationships. Shame, embarrassment, and stigma, Financial strain, lack of communication, and unhealthy coping mechanisms can all amount to major rifts between you and the loved ones in your life.
To explore how infertility impacts marriage and sexual relationship of infertile couples. Infertility is known to affect the psychosocial well-being of couples. Fertility treatment and the scheduled regime of sexual activities places further pressure on infertile couples.
Intimate Wellness Partner
Ayurveda Partner
I conceived through IVF. I would say I had a late start to family life overall because I got married in my 30s. I was 30 and my husband was 34 so we were also running out of time to plan a baby. The fertility treatments caused added financial stress on us apart from the mental stress of trying and trying. We did not have intimacy issues as such but we got so tired of trying for the baby that we almost gave up at one point of the time.
Mrs. Nehal Shah
There is a big taboo in India in speaking about infertility. In my case, it was my problem but my wife started getting blamed by other people. Though I felt bad that this was not her fault and I had to tell other people to stop saying hurtful words about her. Even though our struggles took a lot of emotional and mental toll on us, eventually we became more close to each other because we had to protect each other from all family and social judgments and difficult period of IVF treatments. We did not get enough support in India, so we moved to Paris as a family member suggested it was the ‘best place for infertility treatment’.
Mr. Amit Roy
There is the financial strain. One couple said a single IVF cycle costed her 6 lacs and if you go through >1 cycle it causes huge expenses.
If the couple doesn’t conceive that month, there is a heartbreaking disappointment that you have to do it all over again in the next month
For men, the mental pressure to perform every month affects their sexual functioning and is seen to lead to ED and PE
A lot of negative emotion is dumped onto one partner. Other life problems get discussed with friends, colleagues, and family. But many couples keep their infertility struggles a secret. The result is a lot of pressure on one person for support.
The military discipline like schedule of timed sex kills the mood for lovemaking
If the couple doesn’t conceive that month, there is a heartbreaking disappointment that you have to do it all over again in the next month
Our Findings from interviewing 100+ Infertility specialists and infertile couples:
1.Lot of parental pressure of “when are you having a baby”
2.Woman is primarily held responsible for infertility
3.Sexual dysfunctions such as ED, premature ejaculation, and vaginismus affect intercourse
4.Patients tend to get offended and uncomfortable while discussing their sex life with doctors
5.Infertility worsens women’s low self esteem as they feel like their family lives are “lagging behind”
6.Sex seems to become more mechanical than enjoyable for couples
7.Relationship issues crop up because of longer duration of childlessness
and more…
Are healthcare providers equipped to handhold couples through these challenges:
There is a strong need for more specialised, and empathetic approach to counsel the couple going through infertility challenges. Currently the hospitals and clinics have general counsellors on board, however specialised counselling services are lacking. Infertility and mental health is a standalone area that demands and deserves dedicated research and trainings to make sure, couples transition this phase smoothly.
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Pallavi Barnwal, Certified Intimacy Coach (Getintimacy.com)
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