Recently, I received a question from one of my followers named Manisha. Her query revolved around finding out the best exercise to increase stamina and went like this:
“I wish that you answer some of my questions. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, and I’ve been noticing that our sessions have been getting shorter and shorter. He doesn’t suffer from premature ejaculation as he prolongs for 3 to 5 minutes. But I think it’ll be enjoyable for both of us if he lasted longer. Is there anything we can do about it? He does fulfil my desires in other methods but I wish for the sex to last a bit longer. Please help.”
So, today we’re going to explore a very good topic about how men can endure longer in bed, experience prolonged arousal, have longer erections, and develop control over ejaculation or climax.
To start with, let’s define our terms better as ‘premature ejaculation’ is one of the type of terms that’s carelessly put out there a lot, but the actual medical definition of premature ejaculation is different. As per the actual medical definition, ‘premature ejaculation’ takes place when men get climax and ejaculate before they wish to. And this definition is pretty blurry, isn’t it?
So, I’ve done a bit of research regarding the same and I came up with some solid numbers and data related to it. In 1940, Alfred Kinsey’s massive sexuality survey disclosed that about 75% of men ejaculate within two minutes after getting into the vagina during sex. And some recent studies show that an average man lasts for about six and a half minutes. So, this notion that a lot of guys carry that other men are sexual superheroes who last for hours and hours on end are wrong, because the numbers indicate a much less period of intercourse.
Here’s the bright side of this subject – the best exercise to increase stamina in bed and staying hard for a longer time is a skill that can be honed and enhanced with some strategies, and these strategies are what I’m going to share with you today.
Some Strategies You SHOULD NOT Follow
Before diving into the best exercise to increase stamina and what you should do, let’s discuss what NOT to do. A lot of advice is given about this topic, but I don’t recommend a lot of them. The first one is distraction.
Some men believe that if they think about really not-so-sexy things that their arousal will become less. They assume that doing tough math calculations in their head will lessen their arousal. But this doesn’t make any sense because if you wish to have sex, you want to find enjoyment and pleasure in it. By adapting these ‘distraction’ methods, all the pleasure gets taken away, so yeah, it isn’t the best strategy.
Secondly, there are numbing creams. Other people advice men to use numbing creams to desensitize the penis, so men can last longer. But once again, let’s come back to the point. What value does lasting longer hold if you cannot experience pleasure?
Then there’s another extreme advice that people give. Some people advice to go on antidepressants to minimize the libido. And what all of these tips have in common is to decrease or lessen the sensitivity and arousal. To bring down the sensations that you have instead of enhancing the arousal that you have the potential of feeling.
There is absolutely no sense or logic behind lasting longer if you’re not going to feel any pleasure. Hence, I suggest strategies that actually let you enhance your potential for pleasure so men can stay hard for longer, and also feel turned on at the same time. This is the goal we should sprint behind, not desensitization. Working on the capacity to stay hard for a longer period is a sexual skill that can be honed and developed by guys when they’re masturbating or when they’re with their partners as well.
The First Exercise to Increase Stamina
I personally recommend beginning with solo sessions so that you can understand your body more and then redirect what you learn back into your lovemaking session with your partner. And in the solo sessions, the main goal is to create a sense and awareness of the point of what I call ‘ejaculatory inevitability’. Now, what is that? It means tuning into your body’s sensations so that you can be attentive, and then feel the subtle muscular contractions that occur just before you’re about to cum or ejaculate.
When you become aware of those particular sensations that come before ‘ejaculatory inevitability’ – you can learn to shift gears just before you ejaculate, so in that way, you can prolong your arousal by staying hard for longer, and you will also develop control over when you ejaculate. And before we continue talking about the best exercise to increase stamina, there is a fact you should know. What’s the fact? Well, orgasm and ejaculation are actually two physiological events. You weren’t aware of this, were you?
This basically means that men can learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation so they can actually feel and have multiple orgasms, stay hard for as long as they want to, and can also gain control over the moment of ejaculation.
So, whenever you masturbate, ensure to be attentive towards the sensations in your pelvis region when you get close to ejaculation. Commonly, almost most of the guys get a sense before they’re about to ejaculate, and in your sessions, you can really polish and hone this awareness so that you get a better sense when the point of no return arrives. What I want you to do is – to masturbate a few times and when you predict your upcoming ejaculation, you need to subtly elongate the amount of time that you can keep yourself aroused before the point of no return comes, and then we can go towards partnered explorations, meaning, you should be able to talk to your partner about the point of no return so that your partner and you can work together to prolong your arousal further, and increase stamina.
The Second Exercise to Increase Stamina
To improve stamina, there are things that you can do all on your own, and there are also plenty of things that you can do with your partner or as a couple to keep things fun and interesting. The first thing you can do as a couple is massage. Specifically, butt massage. It is one of the best parts of foreplay.
When you want to boost your endurance, a massage is the best way to relax the body. One of the reasons why most men experience early ejaculation is because of anxiety, but if you begin your love making session with a massage, you’ll create and set a tone for a more relaxed and laid-back lovemaking session. A more anxiety-less and hurry-free approach. But I do understand the rush, and why less foreplay happens. It’s because we live in a culture and society which is full of sexual scarcity, meaning, many couples are so busy in their work and other duties and routines that when they finally get to lovemaking, they tend to rush because they’re scared of losing this time and scared of the moment evaporating, so they try to make the most out of it in an approach that seems more desperate rather than mindful. This is why a lot of guys feel performance anxiety, and so they ejaculate really fast and quick to carpe diem the moment.
So, one of the best stamina building exercises is to begin your lovemaking session with a massage. By doing so, you’re sort of communicating with each other, wordlessly saying that there is no rush, and even a five minutes massage can really transform the attitude and then really positively impact your lovemaking sessions. It will relax the body, and bring much more blood flow to the pelvis. So, men, please tell your partners to begin the lovemaking session with giving you a massage, and notice how the mood and attitude shifts. This kind of an erotic massage will train his body to handle long period of pleasure.
When I talk about an ‘erotic massage’ I mean giving your partner a full-body massage, and then in a sexy and erotic way touching his penis. So, you arouse him, and then both of you together figure out when to stop stimulating his penis, and then shift the attention to the rest of the body, instead of his penis. When you feel the point of no return approaching, you and your partner can communicate and shift the focus of the massage to your chest, thighs, arms, and just spread this arousal all over the body. What’s important here is to communicate properly about the point of no return with your partner. It needs to be figured out when to shift the attention from the penis to the rest of the man’s body. Through this erotic massage process, you will unveil a whole new world of peaks and valleys, where you’ll feel so many diverse and pleasurable sensations.
I suggest to do this exercise to increase stamina at a moment when you’re not wanting to make love, or in desperation for sex and a release. It might become too much for the man to practice this to prolong arousal at this moment, because when you practice this you need to get into it in unintimidated and unstressed. When you take the focus away from just the release and intercourse, then you get a chance to feel arousal in a very different environment. There will no pressure, and a lot of performance anxiety will be abolished. When you and your partner explore this other kind of touch, you’ll be celebrating your pleasure and learning more about it in a non-charged and relaxed environment. And you can also return the favour, and massage your partner as well.
The Third Exercise to Increase Stamina
There’s another strategy for men to increase stamina in bed. After you’ve culminated awareness about your ‘point of no return’ and have properly identified it in your lovemaking session, is to pause when you’re inside your partner before you feel the ejaculation coming through, and take deep and long breaths together, to let your arousal calm down. You can bounce back to your lovemaking session once you’ve calmed down and continue penetrating. This can be done as many times as required and proves to be a great asset and one of the best workouts to increase stamina while lovemaking.
Some Facts You SHOULD know
Another thing you need to know is that men’s erections come and go. It’s not an on-off switch that people assume that it is. It’s mostly about the blood flow and can be approached in that way. I’m pointing out this information specifically because a lot of women get very upset, angry, and defensive about men losing their erections and think of it as a marker that the men are not attracted to them, and make it very personal. But it is not like that. When men are given the freedom and space to let their erections come and go in lovemaking sessions, it really subsides the pressure. In the time that the man loses his erection, you can just make out, or rub your bodies together, or maybe the man can pleasure his partner until the erection comes back and both of you resume the lovemaking.
Couples need to perceive lovemaking as a kind of flow that can have peaks and valleys. It is not a straightforward race that starts and then races to the finish line. So, this is why training the body is of utter importance. Nobody magically knows about these skills, and cultivating these skills takes lots and lots of practice. Just like how people in sports need practice and do drills hundreds of times. And the same kind of approach, compassion, and patience needs to be given to men to understand themselves and have fun in the learning and exploring process.
And another thing worth mentioning is that men are often embarrassed to talk about their early ejaculation, so the respective partners of the men need to approach with an attitude which says something like “You know I love our love making sessions, and we have a wonderful sex life, but let’s make it even better”. This kind of talk can make his embarrassment go away, and the men won’t feel like they’ve failed their partners in terms of pleasure and expectations. We unfortunately live in a culture where men experience a lot of sexual pressure, and so do women, so to lessen the man’s anxiety during intercourse, I suggest women to have an orgasm before the intercourse, so that you won’t be in a rush or impatient, and a lot of pressure will be taken off, and maybe, both of you can experience simultaneous orgasms too!
So, it’s important that men get permission to explore pleasure in their own terms, while ensuring that their partners get their needs fulfilled too.
I hope this insight, tips, and advice regarding the best exercise to increase stamina in bed, helps you and your partner to last longer in bed and boost endurance, so you can have the best of pleasure at your fingertips!
