I often meet struggling couples with their sexual issues. Most of these couples have struggles for years at stretch and reach out to me as their last resort. I also know some other couples who are doing fine but want some excitement and change and go for couple swapping, swinging but then become dependent on it. What is the way out? I feel passion and connection can be created very much from the comfort of our homes and all you need is right techniques that you can get from our intimacy coaching services and simple and affordable tools like erotic massage oils, couples’ sex toys, sensual candles, handy erotic literature and so on to help you indulge in erotic foreplay – the key to your best sex ever.
Let’s dive in
Erotic Literature
As a reader have you ever bookmarked a page in a sexy novel to go back and re-read? I remember as a young reader, I would go back and read certain sexy portions of Sidney Sheldon novel. We all have done that right! You know the really hot parts? You felt turned on reading those portions and you wanted to experience them again. Today there are plenty of erotic short stories that are created to stimulate you to the core. Reading erotica can light up new fires in you, stimulating your wants and desires. Erotic Literature can be digested in many forms (Short form stories, audio snippets, or long form novels) depending on your comfort level and personal taste. Erotica can be explored by reading to a one’s self, to a partner or a partner can read to you.
Couples’ sex toys
Sex toys are a great tool for couple exploration. Especially for women who face challengess with sexual desire and orgasm in the past, vibrators can be a great tool to discover new techniques to achieve pleasure goals. So if you or your female partner is inhibited, gift her this toy on her birthday/ anniversary/ or a special evening. Couple toys are for both partners and can be fun to introduce. The Imbesharam company started this trend in India and now most toy companies have some form of duo toys now. Cock rings, bondage gear, remote controlled toys, and strap ons are also in this category.
Receiving Erotic Massage
The right male genital massage helps a man to connect to his sexuality and feel sexually affirmed. Many men have such a difficult time with sex like performance anxiety; fear of disappointing their partner, and women don’t seem to understand that. You see, our culture has over-simplified male sexuality so much. In a Spotify episode, Urfi Javed said that all it takes a finger to touch a man to make him aroused. That’s so wrong! This skewed thinking that men can be turned on in a second, does not help male-female in their sexual relationships and only confuses things. Both men and women end up confused and misunderstand each other. But we can help each other. This is an intimate experience where a woman lovingly touches her man’s genitals with erotic massage oils to bring him to high states of arousal. Unlike the belief that happy endings are all about sexual release, a loving genital massage has an emotional impact on a man. It touches his heart on a deep level, and a man will be forever grateful for such experience. Sometimes it can be more intimate than intercourse. If oil doesn’t go for your man, there are so many scented body lotions for couples available that you can pick and create an exhilarating experience for your man.
Sensation Play
So many of us are interested in deepening our experience of sex, of intensifying, of having us just feel more, and sensation play is a relatively easy and accessible way to access more pleasure in an unintimidating, specific way for you because you get to notice what you already enjoy and then think about how you could amplify those kinds of sensations. For ex: you can play with sensation of temperature with sensual candles or play with the sensation of touch by making love on luxury bedsheets that feel so yum to your skin.
Create sex play in your bedroom
Our play practice begins early in life. As babies, we are borne into this world playing. As babies in our crib, we move our arms and legs, sucked our thumb and found delight in this new world. That marks the beginning of a lifetime of play – discovery, enjoyment and learning. During play, we go into an altered high state. Play is crucial for us for our survival. If you think as an adult you have ceased to play, let me remind you of birthday parties, vacation, kids, and even dog where you play so much. When you integrate play in your sex life (let me give an ex: pillow fights followed by cuddle) you will have a more satisfying sex life. If you need more ideas for adult play, pick some adult board games, or Erotic games for passionate nights or take our intimacy coaching services to create more fun in the bedroom.
Building sexual tension through foreplay
Foreplay is one of the most enjoyable parts of sex, and yet a lot of us rush past it to get to intercourse and then feel a little dissatisfied after the main event is over. So I want to really encourage people to start thinking about foreplay as part of the main event rather than a simple appetizer before the main course. I always advocate all day foreplay which is indulging in naughty, playful, romantic acts with your partner throughout the course of the day. It does build the tension up. You can incorporate sensual touch in erotic foreplay meaning touching your partner with objects of different kinds: feather, silk, brush to create different sensory experiences. Another type of foreplay is seduction. Seduction is getting the attention of your partner without touching them. In my art of intimacy workshop, I teach many slow seduction techniques for couples that can supercharge their sex life. Foreplay does not just involve acts to do but also topics to talk.
Sharing fantasies to build bond
There is a big role of fantasies in sex life. Sharing some fantasies with your partner which can be your past memorable sexual experiences or new things to try can play a powerful role in enhancing intimacy with erotic foreplay. You may not disclose all fantasies as they are strictly your own but choose to share some that you are comfortable sharing. Role of fantasies in foreplay is about bringing some thrill, some uncertainty, some mystery in the equation between you and your partner.
