Therapy is only for people with problems. Such a misconception this is and this misconception has stopped people from seeking help for their mental health concerns for so many decades. It is only now that mental health is seen as an important part of well-being and issues are being acknowledged. However, when it comes to our sex life? Therapy? Sex Therapy?
Unimaginable!
This is what majority of people think and perceive about sex therapy. Most people have multiple negative assumptions against sex therapy starting from sex is a private matter and should not be discussed to taking sex casually and thus not needing any attention. However, our sex life is precious and complicated at the same time and thus is bound to run into problems. Sexual problems are common and can have a devastating impact on a person and their relationship. This is where sex therapy is a blessing. Sex Therapy is not a simple let’s talk about sex (although that’s a major part of therapy) but more than that including multiple advanced interventions that can solve sexual problems:
- Sensate focus exercises
- Mindfulness-based sex therapy
- Cognitive-behavioral sex therapy
- Pelvic floor exercises for sexual function
- Couples sex therapy exercises
- Tantric sex therapy exercises
- Erotic mindfulness exercises
- Somatic sex therapy techniques
- Sexological bodywork exercises
Let us understand sex therapy and sex therapy exercises in this blog
Sex therapy is working with clients through counseling, talk therapy, and interactive exercises and guide them on their sexual issues and goals. In sex therapy session, we take sex history and take as much information about client’s unique sexuality in the context of their past, present, future life experiences, sexual encounters, their intimacy desires and limitations.
For ex: how they learnt about sex, what sex means to them. Then I as a sex coach give them homework, physical assignments, sensate focus exercises, and couples sex therapy exercises if they are a couple. We start by understanding what their sexual challenges and needs are and where they want to be. Even while we are talking about such an intimate and sensitive aspect of a client, we as coaches and therapists make sure to build trust and maintain proper boundaries of client comfort at all points in discussion.
Diving further, here are sex therapy exercises that sex therapists and sex coaches use:
Pelvic Floor Exercises for Sexual Function
This is a life blessing for women suffering from sexual pain during intercourse and women who are not able to have intercourse because of involuntary shutting down of their vagina. I have got so many stories of women who complain and are distressed because of this. They would tell me things like:
“Not able to have inter course with my husband. Whenever we try it we’re unable to, I have this pain in vagina and I cannot let him insert his penis in me and now it has started taking toll in my mind and our relation.”
Many of their complaints are related to pelvic floor muscle (PFM) dysfunctions such as spasms, incoordination, muscle hypertonicity, muscle shortness, trigger points, scar adhesions for which pelvic floor sex therapy exercises are highly useful.
Couples Sex Therapy Exercise
This is one of my favorite interventions because there is so much more involved when it comes to a team of two people. Typically recommended to couples going through lack of intimacy or lack of desire in marriage/ relationship, these couple sex therapy exercise work on the limiting blocks and get couple physically closer. Let me share an example:
Don’t Touch Me there! Red Yellow Green Light Zones on Your Body
Did you ever have that feeling that your partner touched you in a certain area of your body and you had an averse kind of feeling or a cringey feeling? You had but you don’t know how to communicate that to your partner and most probably, either you have shrugged them off or just bore that discomfort. However, that is not the right approach. In sex therapy, we have designed the right tools for you to communicate what is okay, what is not okay. Check this blog where I talk about this tool: A green, yellow, and red areas of our body.
Cognitive-Behavioral Sex Therapy Exercise
This is based on communication and cognitive analysis to find thought patterns, emotional concerns that block intimacy and then using the reprogrammed thought and emotional structures to achieve better intimacy. For ex: as a relationship and sex coach who specialises in working with couples who have low to no sex life, I see many couples struggle with mismatched sexual desires. Sexual mismatch in desire means you and your partner have different levels of desire for sex. Maybe your partner wants it a lot and you only want it a little (or not at all). Sexual desire mismatch is the #1 presenting problem for all sex therapists. Cognitive behavioral sex therapy can heal the damage caused by mismatched sexual desire and create a positive sexual relationship.
Tantric Sex Therapy Exercises
I believe sex is not just physical but also mind, body, and spirit. While science refutes the presence of spirit, this is something a felt experience where sex helps us in deeper connect and the thoughtless mind after climax is a state in bliss. Tantric Sex Therapy Exercises approach to the soul inside us. By using breathwork, sound, movement, as well as sexual energy channelisation and release and multiple other techniques, Tantra helps a person embrace their sexuality, heal sexual wounds, and grow in.
Sex Therapy has a wide canvas of exploration and includes many other potent therapeutic interventions such as Sensate focus exercises, Mindfulness-based sex therapy, Erotic mindfulness exercises, Somatic sex therapy techniques, Sexological bodywork exercises, and Taoist sexual cultivation exercises apart from the ones mentioned above.
Your sex life is precious! Take charge and Seek help to solve your intimacy problems and enhance intimacy in your life and/ or a relationship.
