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What Does a Sex Counsellor Do?

Pallavi Barnwal
Updated on June 29, 2024
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Are you struggling in your sex life and don’t know who to ask for help? A sex counsellor is the answer. Close your eyes and imagine what it would be like to visit a sex counsellor’s office. What did you imagine? Several people have several different ideas about a sex therapist/sex counsellor’s office. And most of the time, it is completely incorrect.

Some people also assume that a sex counsellor is going to have sex with them or watch them have sex to take notes. Unbelievable, right? But such misconceptions are common, as we live in a society mostly influenced by the internet and television. This kind of content isn’t meant to educate but is intended for entertainment.

In this blog, we’ll clarify such misconceptions. And talk about what sex counsellors do, and how sex counselling is.

Understanding Online Sex Counselling

Online sex counselling helps you with your sexual health, relationships, and intimacy. And it does so with digital platforms.

Don’t worry, there’s no nudity or touching involved—it’s all about communication and conversation. This type of counselling has become popular because it’s convenient and private. You can get help with sexual issues like erectile dysfunction or low libido. Learn tips for better sexual satisfaction. Manage sexual health problems like STIs, and even get relationship and marital advice.

The booking process is easy: pick a platform, choose a certified sex counsellor, schedule your session, and fill out any forms. The sessions will happen via secure video or chat widget. Then, your sex counsellor will talk to you to understand your issues. After that, the sex counsellor will create a personalized therapy plan.

They might also work with medical professionals to rule out any physical health factors that could be affecting you. This could involve referrals to specialists if needed.

The sessions will dive into topics like libido, desires, arousal, and orgasms. Additionally, it will also explore how you and your partner get along. And mental health aspects like trauma and anxiety.

Sometimes, all it takes is one session, but other times, you’ll need multiple sessions to tackle the issues. In general, online sex counselling is supportive and thorough. It helps you improve your sexual and relationship health. Best part? You can do it from home.

Online sex counselling has many advantages. They include access to specialists regardless of location and flexible scheduling. There is no travel requirement, which saves you time and money. You can have sessions at home. Online counselling also has reduced stigma and lower costs than traditional sex counselling.

Relationship Advice Services

Sex counselling often includes sexual components. These are like homework exercises. They are done alone or with partners. These activities are always carried out at home in the privacy of your own space. Apart from that, sex counsellors also provide relationship advice for couples.

Relationship advice is crucial for sexual wellness. It helps partners communicate better, understand each other’s needs, and feel emotionally connected.

It guides couples through intimacy challenges and disagreements, fostering trust, respect, and empathy. In the end, it boosts relationship satisfaction. It adds to a more fulfilling sex life together.

Online, you’ll find diverse relationship advice services. They include video sessions with sex counsellors. They also have interactive workshops, personalized coaching, and anonymous forums. They’re all aimed at improving communication, resolving conflicts, and enhancing intimacy in relationships.

Success stories: How couples have benefited from these services

  • A man struggled with performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. He regained his confidence and improved his sex life after multiple sessions with a sex counsellor. They addressed the root of his anxiety.
  • A couple revitalized their marriage. They did it by following targeted exercises suggested by their sex therapist. The exercises strengthened their bond.
  • A person who found acceptance and clarity about his sexual orientation. This led to a healthier sex life, better self-esteem, and stronger relationships. He found this through the guidance of a sex counsellor.

Marriage Counselling Experts

The role of marriage counselling in resolving sexual issues is significant. Sex counsellors help couples address and fix sexual and marital issues. They do this by improving communication. They use traditional or non-traditional methods. These can include exercises, medicines, or holistic psychology.

John Gottman and Esther Perel are notable experts in sex counselling. They use evidence-based methods and focus on emotional connection and communication. Many other experts in the field do the same.

We will discuss more notable names in the history of sex counselling and their approaches later in this blog.

Why do married couples need marriage counselling? It could be for many reasons. They might need one to overcome infidelity. They might also need marriage counselling to improve intimacy after pregnancy and childbirth. And they might need it to rebuild trust after conflicts.

Sexual Wellness Programs

Before we talk about sexual wellness programs, let’s understand who sex counsellors usually help. And who sex therapy is for.

Well, it’s for anyone who has sexual health concerns. Whether you’re single and dating, or in a 40-year-long relationship. Anyone can benefit from sex counselling and sexual wellness programs. And it is not only for older people or those with ‘serious problems’.

These programs are designed to break such false ideas and they open your eyes to human sexuality and sex counsellors.

Sex counselling is normal. But it’s not covered in traditional sex education. So, people keep adding to misconceptions. That’s why human sexuality is gaining popularity. Education, therapy, and support groups are being made for it or should be.

Your long-term sexual health benefits when you participate in sexual wellness programs. When you’re educated about your own body and that of your partner – a new sexual horizon presents itself to you. It addresses myths. It also gives tips, methods, and workshops. They enhance your sex life or help you solve your sexual problems.

What to expect in sex counselling for couples?

You must develop your sexual skills. This is crucial because it makes sex fun. It also deepens intimacy and boosts your sexual self-confidence.

Relationship satisfaction doesn’t solely depend on your sex life’s quality. But, it’s a crucial part of it.

Every person deserves a safe space. It should be without judgment. This is true regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or relationship status. Individuals and couples, both have a lot to learn by opening up their minds and their perceptions about sex therapy.

Sex counsellors help couples in several ways. Some are conventional. Some are not. But, they all nurture and encourage communication, connection, and intimacy with a partner. It allows couples to get a chance to feel safe, love themselves, and surrender to pleasure. Sex therapy is filled with actionable tips, that you can explore individually or with a partner.

We already talked about how couples sometimes go to a sex counsellor. But, the counsellor prefers to see them alone, and not together. Why so?  

For example, if you’re a couple who never talked about sex, it takes a different approach to open that gate of communication. If couples fight a lot and have a lot of animosity and resentment, the sex therapists must address them as individuals first. Then, they can tend to their issues as a couple.

Maybe one partner might hesitate to see a sex counsellor with their other half. They may fear the counsellor might take their partner’s side.

So, how can the sex counsellor be an unbiased third party, who is neutral? By ensuring that he/she/them listens to both parties individually to make them feel heard. Two people make a couple. Each has emotional baggage. And this individual baggage needs attention.

We all carry our respective barriers, restraints, and traumas. And not everyone knows how to talk about these topics openly or in front of their partners.

So, a sex counsellor is present for all the parties. They ensure the couples get to a point where they can enjoy the best sex possible.

Sex therapists do not take sides or blame one person in a relationship. That would not help, and it’s not how relationships work. So, in sex counselling, the therapists tread through an unbiased and objective path to help couples.

Expert Help for Sexual Issues

So, what are the different sexual issues that sex counsellors commonly take care of? Some issues are harder to tackle than others. It’s not a linear path and doesn’t include a stern diagnosis. It is not streamlined like CBT for depression or anxiety. There aren’t enough trials on sex therapy and sexual functioning. Sadly, our society doesn’t fund much work and research on sexual health.

There’s a lot of missing data and information we just don’t know. So, sex counsellors work around more generic topics and their sub-topics. Like how to get minimal pain during sex, improve orgasms, or feel more in sync with a partner during sexual intercourse.

The goal is to reduce a sense of shame or guilt around sexual practices. The goal is to challenge yourself to feel more sexual as an individual and more sexual in your relationships. It is a very niche area of therapy or counselling practice but it’s not incredibly broad at the same time. This is due to the lack of funding to study the domain of sexual health.

Some notable sex therapists in history are William Masters and Virginia Johnson. They thrived from the 1950s to the 1970s and focused on human sexual response and sex therapy. They made a four-stage model of sexual response.

Then there’s Alfred Kinsey. In the 1940s-1950s, he studied sexual behaviour. He discovered the Kinsey Scale on sexual orientation.

Then there’s John Gottman. He has focused on relationship and marital therapy since the 1970s. He researched divorce predictors and marital stability. This research led him to develop the Gottman Method.

Esther Perel is another sex therapist who has been exploring the nature of erotic desire and infidelity since the 2000s.

In India, one of the many notable names is Dr. Narayana Reddy. He focused on sexual medicine and therapy from the 1970s to the 1990s. He pioneered sex therapy in India. He worked mainly on sexual problems and education.

Then there’s Dr.Rajan Bhonsle, who has been active since the 1980s to bring attention to sexual health and counselling. He is known for his work in sexual medicine and authoring books on sexual health.

Last but not least, there’s Dr. Prakash Kothare. Since the 1980s, he has specialized in sexology and has greatly contributed to sex education and therapy in India.

Achieving Sexual Health and Happiness Through a Sex Counsellor

Sex counsellors are very important in achieving sexual health and happiness. And in sex counselling, ‘success’ can be very subjective. For instance, let’s say there is a person who is visiting a sex counsellor to find a solution for premature or early ejaculation. This person reaches a climax in less than one minute of sexual intercourse. Now, after lots of sessions with a sex therapist, this one minute may turn into two minutes. That would be considered a success or progress for him. But not everyone will perceive it that way. Hence, it is highly subjective.

So, what can be the objective indicators for a successful outcome of sex counselling sessions? There is no stern answer for that as human beings are complex, and human sexuality is equally complex and multi-faceted.

However, humans are sexual creatures. So, sexual health is very connected to happiness. Sex counsellors give practical tips for good sexual health. The tips are not general but customized for a couple or an individual’s unique issues. But they usually do provide the necessary resources for continuous learning and support.

Guidance for Sexual Concerns

There are a lot of wrong, misguiding sexual self-help resources in the world. A lot has been written and published that is patently false. This is misinformation, and absolutely shouldn’t happen but it does happen. So, what can we do to keep ourselves aligned with legitimate guidance, education, and tips for optimized sexual health?

Well, even if a lot of misinformation is floating by, there are also some great sexual self-help books and resources that exist too. But you need to search for the kind of information and sex education which is accurate and most importantly – evidence-based. The people you follow if you can’t access sex counsellors, need to be people who truly know what they’re talking about. Some need sexual counselling from proper sex counsellors, while some just need education. And it’s up to you to know what or who you need.

There are a lot of common sexual challenges that couples face, and for that enough content exists both online, and offline. But other sexual challenges cannot be solved single-handedly with books, movies or other content. You need sex counsellors or therapists for that. They make custom plans for overcoming challenges together. They give exercises and practices like mindfulness, meditation, communication tips and more. They do much more to improve your sexual health as a whole. Depending upon which kind of sex therapist you go for, the treatment plans will vary.  They may be eccentric, or conventional, based on who you pick.

Conclusion

Online sex counselling is super convenient and private. You can chat or talk with a sex counsellor about anything from sexual issues to relationship worries, all from the comfort of your home. It’s like having a friendly guide to help you understand and tackle your concerns without any awkward in-person visits.

If you have sexual or relationship issues, reach out to sex therapists or counsellors. Don’t hesitate!

Remember, getting expert advice can help you boost your sex life, deepen your intimacy, and make you feel better overall. Taking that first step to seek help is a big win for a happier, healthier you. Also, a happier, and healthier relationship.

An expert sex counsellor can greatly improve your sexual health. They can also boost your relationship satisfaction. Tailored strategies and expert support can help you beat challenges. They can also reduce distress and improve your mental health.

So, what are you waiting for? You can search for a sex counsellor online or offline, whichever you prefer. They will bring positive changes to your life!

Last reviewed on July 12, 2024

Learn more about our editorial process.

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